The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F Summary Book

The Book in Three Sentences

Finding something of import and meaningful in your life is the nigh productive utilize of your time and energy. This is truthful considering every life has problems associated with it and finding pregnant in your life will help you lot sustain the attempt needed to overcome the particular problems you face. Thus, nosotros can say that the key to living a expert life is not giving a fuck about more than things, but rather, giving a fuck only about the things that marshal with your personal values.

The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck summary

This is my book summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Marking Manson. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the book as well equally my own thoughts. This summary also includes key lessons and of import passages from the book.

• Conventional self-help communication which tells you to visualize success and think about the type of person you want to be only reinforces the thought that you lot are non that affair.
• Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a nicer job or a meliorate auto or a prettier girlfriend.
• The key to a proficient life is not giving a fuck about more; it's giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
• We are no longer facing a material crisis. We accept plenty of resources: TVs and wearing apparel and goods that we don't need. The problem nosotros confront is existential and spiritual. We take so much stuff and so many opportunities that we don't know what to give a fuck nigh anymore.
• Because there's an infinite amount of things we can now see or know, there are also an infinite number of ways we tin can observe that nosotros don't measure out up, that we're not expert enough, that things aren't as slap-up equally they could be.
• The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of 1'due south negative feel is itself a positive experience.
• Pursuing something only reinforces that you lack it in the outset place.
• Accepting your experience of life equally being keen and wonderful is the single greatest thing you can do for your happiness.
• "You lot will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You volition never live if you are looking for the significant of life." -Albert Camus
• Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
• If you are able to not give a fuck about the hurting your goals require, then you get unstoppable.
• The moments when we don't give a fuck and take activeness are oft the moments that most define the form of our lives.
• You are going to die someday. Everyone you know is going to die soon. And in your short life you just have a certain amount of fucks to give.
• Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts finer based on finely honed personal values is perhaps the greatest and most of import struggle in life.
• Subtlety #1: Not giving a fuck is non about existence indifferent. Information technology but ways you're comfortable with being unlike. Don't say fuck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
• Subtlety #two: To not give a fuck well-nigh adversity, you must start care almost something more important than adversity.
• Subtlety #3: Whether you lot realize it or not, you are always choosing what to requite a fuck about. The key is to gradually prune the things you care nearly, so that you only give a fuck on the most important of occasions.
• When a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some.
• I recall what most people — peculiarly educated, pampered eye-form white people — consider "life problems" are really just side furnishings of not having anything more than important to worry nigh.
• Finding something of import and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive utilise of your fourth dimension and free energy.
• Information technology's okay for things to suck some of the fourth dimension.
• Practical enlightenment is the act of becoming comfortable with the thought that some suffering is always inevitable.
• At that place is no value in suffering when information technology is done without purpose.
• Don't promise for a life without problems. Hope for a life with good problems.
• Problems never stop. They merely get exchanged or upgraded.
• Happiness is found in solving problems, not avoiding them.
• Truthful happiness occurs simply when y'all find the problems y'all enjoy having and enjoy solving. Happiness is wanting the problems yous have and wanting to solve them.
• Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge yous in the direction of beneficial change.
• Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a phone call to activity. Positive emotions are the advantage for taking the correct action.
• We should question our emotions because they are not always right.
• Don't inquire yourself what yous want out of life. It's easy to want success and fame and happiness and great sexual practice. Everybody wants those things. A much more than interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of pain do I desire?" What you are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
• Yous tin't but be in love with the result. Everybody loves the outcome. You have to love the process.
• The climb to the superlative is a never-ending upward spiral with new problems e'er surfacing and new processes that you must fall in honey with. You are never allowed to stop climbing because the entire signal is to love the climb. If you always stop loving the climb, the results will never come up.
• Self-esteem, past itself, is overrated. Information technology doesn't help to experience adept about yourself unless you lot have a good reason for feeling that way. The struggle makes self-esteem useful, not the participation bays.
• Your problems are not privileged in their severity or hurting. You lot are not unique in your suffering.
• The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more nosotros seem to become upset that those other viewpoints be. This seems like a logical tendency to me considering before the net and our hyper-connected modernistic world, people didn't have as much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their own. Today, alternate ideas are far more than likely to cantankerous your radar screen.
• Most of us are pretty average at virtually things we practise. Fifty-fifty if you're exceptional at one thing, chances are yous're average or below boilerplate at nigh other things.
• Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of homo experience. The best of the all-time, worst of the worst, and about upsetting of the upsetting. Nosotros merely come across the about exceptional news stories because that's what drives acquirement. This is a existent problem when it comes to comparison considering you can only exist exceptional in 1 matter thing and you're going to be below boilerplate in virtually everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play.
• The problem is that the pervasiveness of technology and mass marketing is screwing up a lot of people'southward expectations for themselves.
• 1 of the most pervasive narratives most masculinity in our civilisation is that the most valuable thing a human can attain is sexual practice and it's worth sacrificing nearly anything to get information technology. (Interestingly, this corresponds to i of the ascendant female person narratives, which is that the greatest thing a woman can be is beautiful.)
• People who are exceptional become that way by thinking they are boilerplate and focusing on improvement. You don't go infrequent by assertive you are exceptional.
• The more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true.
• Issues are inevitable, but what they mean is flexible. We go to control what our problems mean to u.s.a. based on how we choose to retrieve about them and how we choose to measure them. The manner we measure out success influences how we view the problems we face.
• "Pleasure is a false god. Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures finish upwardly more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
• People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes.
• "One 24-hour interval, in retrospect, the years of struggle volition strike yous as the most beautiful." -Sigmund Freud
• People who are terrified of what others retrieve about them are really terrified of all the negative things they recall about themselves being reflected back at them.
• When we feel that we're choosing our problems, nosotros experience empowered. When nosotros feel that our bug are existence forced upon usa against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.
• We don't e'er control what happens to the states. But we always control how we translate what happens to us, equally well as how we respond.
• Accepting responsibility for our issues is the first footstep to solving them.
• A lot of people hesitate to have responsibility for their issues considering they believe that to be responsible for your issues is besides to be at fault for your problems. This is non true. Nosotros are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the time. This is part of life.
• People will oft fight over who gets to exist responsible for successful and happiness. But taking responsibleness for our issues is far more important because that's where existent learning comes from.
• Growth is an incessantly iterative process. When we acquire something new, nosotros don't go from "incorrect" to "correct." Rather, we become from wrong to slightly less incorrect. We shouldn't seek to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip abroad at the means that we're incorrect today then that we can be a little less wrong tomorrow.
• Certainty is the enemy of growth.
• All beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others.
• Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals often felt good nearly themselves. Depression self-esteem was not ever associated with evil acts.
• The more than y'all try to become sure about a particular effect, the more uncertain and insecure you volition feel.
• The more than you embrace being uncertain and non knowing, the more comfortable you will experience in knowing what y'all don't know.
• The human who believes he knows everything learns nothing.
• Manson's Law of Avoidance: The more something threatens your identity, the more yous will avert information technology. The more something threatens how you view yourself, the more y'all will avert getting around to doing it.
• If I believe I'm a nice guy, I'll avert situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'm an awesome cook, I'll seek out opportunities to testify that to myself over and over again. The belief always takes precedence.
• Manson's idea of "kill yourself" is similar to Paul Graham's thought of "keep your identity small." The cardinal betoken is that if you don't have an identity to protect, then modify becomes much easier.
• For any alter to happen in your life, you must accept that y'all were wrong about something you were doing earlier.
• "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle
• If it feels like it'south you versus the world, chances are it'south really just y'all versus yourself.
• The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times you lot've failed at that thing.
• Goals are limited in the amount of happiness they tin provide in our lives because they are finite. Once you attain the goal, it tin can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, then, by choosing processes equally your focus, y'all can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the procedure and non the goal. Processes never end, which means happiness can continue indefinitely.
• Action isn't simply the result of motivation; it's also the crusade of it. Practice something and inspiration volition follow.
• How practice y'all write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per solar day" and y'all'll discover motivation ofttimes flows out of y'all.
• Manson'south "practice something" principle sounds a lot like the philosophy backside the two-infinitesimal dominion. Do something now, fifty-fifty if it's actually small, and let proficient deportment cascade as a effect.
• To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to it. There's a sure level of joy and meaning that y'all reach in life simply when you've spent decades investing in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career. And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
• The marker of an unhealthy human relationship is when two people try to solve each other's problems in club to feel good nearly themselves.
• Trust is the well-nigh important ingredient in any relationship for the unproblematic reason that without trust the relationship doesn't actually hateful anything.
• Investing securely in one person, i identify, 1 job, one activity might deny us the breadth of feel nosotros'd like, only pursuing a breadth of experience denies usa the opportunity to enjoy the rewards of depth of feel.
• Commitment, in its own mode, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise be available to you lot, no matter how many surface level experiences you lot pursued.
• Rejection of alternatives liberates us. In a strange style, delivery to one matter offers more freedom than anything else considering information technology relieves you of all the 2nd guessing most what else is out there.
• If there is no reason to do anything, if life is pointless, and so there is also no reason to not do anything. What do you have to lose? You lot're going to dice anyway, and so your fears and embarrassments and failures don't mean anything. You lot might every bit well try.
• All of the meaning in our life is shaped by our innate desire to never truly die. Our physical bodies will die, just we cling to the idea that we tin can alive on through faith, politics, sports, fine art, and technological innovation.
• The only way to exist comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself equally something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
• It is the human action of choosing your values and living by them that makes you not bad, not any outcome or accomplishment.
• "We're all going to die, all of u.s.a.. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, only it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski

Reading Suggestions

This is a list of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Art of Non Giving a F*ck, which might be useful for future reading.

• The Denial of Death past Ernest Becker

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck

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